This is an Ask a Geek Feminist question.
The actual question is in search of a specific blog post:
A few months, maybe half a year ago, I came across a blog post written by a woman who worked in the game design industry. She talked a little about how she has found her behavior changes due to working in a largely male environment — for example, she tends to assume a more aggressively positive or motherly attitude than she otherwise might. She also talked about how it seems less forgivable for a woman to be wrong about something than a man. If a man asserts something is true and then turns out to be wrong, he was just mistaken; but if a woman asserts something is true and then turns out to be wrong, she is maliciously lying. I found the blog a fascinating and insightful look at some of the experiences of women in the gaming industry (or in general in any largely male workplace).
Alas, I failed to bookmark this blog and have been unable to find it again. I wonder if any of the geek feminists around here recognize and can help locate the blog post I am talking about, or know of any similar information (blogs, studies, psychology research, anything) that deals with this same topic. It’s clearly something that potentially affects any woman working in a largely male environment, but it’s not something I have seen a lot of discussion about. As a woman in game design myself, I have caught myself doing some of the same things that the blog poster mentioned, and I am very interested in reading more about this topic.
If you have thoughts on which blog post that might be, or other interesting links about being “one of the guys” or a mother-hen in a male dominated environment, feel free to share, but this might also be a good jumping off point for anything else you want to say about honourary guy-dom. “Honourary guy” is a term coined in a now locked blog post for being “one of the guys” and having the privileges associated that at the cost of seeing women constantly othered as “not-guys”.
This is compounded by intersectional oppressions: the less like a guy you are, the less likely it is that you can even consider being one of the guys. Or, in one word, kyriarchy.
So: links and discussion of how being in a male-dominated or guy-dominated environment influences you, or forces you to change in order to survive or succeed.